Woman a Success…Relationship a Mess

I think Successful Women get a bad rap. I have dated women from actresses to doctors, lawyers, corporate execs and entrepreneurs. I haven’t found that they are any more “Bossy” than the customer service reps or administrative assistants that I have dated. In fact, I would argue that the Successful Women downplay too much their position because they don’t want to scare anyone off. This causes them to act less natural which is the biggest turnoff for me. The same is in reverse for the customer service reps and administrative assistants. They tend to overcompensate for the sake of not wanting to be treated like a second class citizen.

It is the easy answer to say that Successful Women can’t keep a relationship because they don’t know how to turn it off at home. People are people. Their position at work has nothing to do with their position in a relationship. Your job doesn’t define you. If you are a “Bossy” person who has to be right all the time, it has nothing to do with your job. It really depends on what “role” or “position” you strive to play in relationships. I know plenty of executive males that don’t make one decision when they get home. Their wives run the house and they will let you know it. It is amazing to go to a corporate get together and see the head man of your company being pulled around by this woman who hasn’t worked in years.

A successful man doesn’t have to downplay his success. He is usually playing it up because it is ok or almost required for a man to be very successful in our society. He is supposed to be the bread-winner and provide “security” to the relationship. On the flip side, if a woman does this, she is somehow “impossible” to get along with. Therefore, she tries her best to make it a non-issue.

Unfortunately, the Successful Woman has a pre-conceived image of “Bossy” before they say a word. This idea has been cultivated by so much conversation and attention about this topic in the media and any barbershop you go in. This is what drives the conversation from the man as well as her answers to questions in general conversation. Successful Women tend to have the pre-conceived notion that all men are “intimidated” by them because they make a lot of money. This is another myth. Any man who is intimidated by a woman because she makes more money than him has self-esteem issues and probably wouldn’t make a good mate for a woman who is successful. She would have to act unsuccessful to cater to his insecurities. While men do have big egos and want to be “The Man”, this can be fulfilled without having financial prowess. It takes a more mature Man to realize that. Successful women put too much stock into the notion that men need to feel financially empowered in the relationship.

This is the real reason that Successful Women don’t have Successful Relationships. She is trying to wear a mask upfront but no one is fooled. The man already “thinks” he knows who she is just by her job. Therefore, he adjusts his mask to fit that idea. Most of the time, Successful Women are not themselves upfront and most men they meet are trying to Compete vs. Complete them. All Successful Women can’t be generalized into a category no more than all Not So Successful Women can. If people be themselves upfront, they will attract the right person for them regardless of what they do for a living. It is possible to be Successful and Sexy simultaneously. "SucSexy" is my term for it. Your Career is your Choice…Your Character is your Voice!